Songs of my Saviour.

"And what would you like, little boy or girl?" ~ Invader ZIM, "The Most Horrible X-Mas Ever"

People are usually shocked when they learn that I am a deeply devout Christian.

Yes, I curse, listen to devil music, and have a sick and twisted personality; that aside, I think I am basically a good person--good, meaning I am not murderous, swindling, or abusive to living creature. Except fleas and ants. They can burrrrrrn!

Yes, I have been known to pray. I reaffirmed my Christianity on October 11th, 1998 when my husband and I were baptized by immersion. It was a particularly happy time because Jim had accepted Christ.

I am not one of those individuals to go about spouting off fundie Christian ethics and trying to convert the pagan princess on the corner--no, I look for the intrinsic good in people and abhor true evil. I am quite liberal, but I am singularly unique in my neck of the woods in that I worship God, am pro-choice and don't see anything wrong with drinking alcohol occasionally or swearing (minutely.) I see beauty in so many other things other than the mystery of religious life.

At this moment, I am listening to Luciano Pavarotti's rendition of "Ave Maria" and tears are streaming down my face, simply from the overwhelming beauty and melancholy of the intermingling of notes and ancient phrases. God, to me, is so much more evident in this particular genre; surely He is singing through Pavarotti as proof of His existence. I have searched for God within the confines of the Methodist church I attend, and have far more often seen Him in my children, heard Him worshiped in beautiful Latin cadences.

I also have a Jesus fish on the back of the Black Pearl.

I still become deeply sad during this joyous season. And the sadness is magnified by all the evil in this world. I try not to think about it too much. I need to see my shrink soon and get my meds upped.

Peace to you all.... Jules