We Wish You a Merry Jingly...

Ever have a kid who complains on Christmas morning about what they didn't get? or about the *quantity* of prevents? I have two of them, and last night, on our way home from Christmas Eve at my sister's house, I gave them a talking-to about just how blessed they are, how some kids don't have any type of Christmas at all short of a very poor one, like the victims of Hurricane Katrina who still have bupkes (thank you Prezzer Bush, may reindeer poop on your upturned, sniveling gob.)

Now, these children are very blessed indeed. I'm a widow with very little actual discretionary income, but I usually manage to come through with the ungrateful little smeets' hearts desires. And family does too. My parents, while not millionaires, are fairly well off now after years of careful financial planning. Grandma got the two oldest granddaughters i-Pods. Wow. My brother, sister and Jim's family are generous as well. I love watching all the smeets tear into the gifts with squeals of glee. That, to me, is Christmas. God gave us the Christ Child; it's only right to give to those we love, no matter how painfully, unconditionally, and joyfully it feels.

Goddammit.

Aunt Glou-Glou's Asylum for Unwed Cats: Timing is everything.

Y'all remember that post? Well, here's the finale.

Dear (gag!) Walter,

It's really apparent to me that beneath your tough demeanor--you know, your ability to kill helpless animals, your penchant for tough talk (IOW, inserting "fuck" at least 20 times in any given sentence,) the fact that you're a mechanic, that you are nothing but a goddamn coward.

You are such a coward, and your jealousy is so bitter and burning within your twisted little soul that you couldn't bring yourself to come to my doorway to return something to me. Instead, you phoned me from your dreary little cabin to tell me the item was in my mailbox. Your excuse? "Well, I had my kids with me." Bullshit! You're a coward, and surprise surprise, you are turning your children into cowards as well, and you are teaching them to hate. "The history of the present [King of Self-Important UPS Mechanics] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over [this Woman and her Family.] To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world." That's from the Declaration of Independence, helpfully edited. Recall reading it in 8th grade civics? Oh wait--you've never cracked a book in your life. I digress--

* You have repeatedly humiliated me in front of your children and encouraged their blatant disrespect for me--remember the "hemi" discussion?

* You gave me genital herpes, which you got from your wife, Robin the Trollop.

*You inflicted WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE punishment upon my son that you would never dream of doing to your own child.

*YOU made me give my beloved cat up for adoption only because you were jealous of him.

*You repeatedly taunted my son because he's imaginative and artistic, claiming those are "faggot" qualities.

*You called my kids names like "Gaybee," "Turd-a," "Dilbert," --how would you like it if I called your kids Fatass, Spoiled Brat Princess, Blubber Boy?

You are a manipulative, horribly mean person, Walter Gayle Myers II. You covered it up quite nicely when you wanted to win my heart, but what you didn't know is that masks melt away quite easily when exposed to sunlight. I ignored the warning signs--the cursing, the failure to restrict what the kids did and watched, the temper tantrum you threw in front of all the kids on Christmas Day, the reluctantce you showed when seeing my parents because they saw right through your facade and you knew it!! And the worst of it is--I am just as guilty as you, because I aided and abetted you, pacified you, coddled you through your little tempests because I tried to find--desperately--something worthwhile to love about you. Basically, I only stayed with you because of two things: I was lonely and the sex was good. I gave up myself for you. I lost myself. And that's the worst things a person can do! Well, now I'm back, I'm better because I cured the sickness that had me in its grip--YOU. You are a sickness, a fever, and now the fever has broken, and here I am--in pieces, but alive and in my true spirit! The exorcism of you hurt terribly, but it restored my sight and my purpose and my SELF. If I have to be alone--and you can be sure I am not getting involved with anyone for a long time--then I am alone. I have my kids, my pets, my darling little house, my friends, and ME. I am back, and you can't destroy me EVER AGAIN!!!!

Oh, and here's a hale and hearty FUCK YOU.

P.S. All the dead animal carcasses are in my sister's freezer waiting for you. No more flaccid turkey necks in MY house!

27 questions later

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

How come every "personality test" I take compares me to pot smokers? I don't even smoke pot anymore. Must be the residue in my fingertips.

"You want I should use the enema hose?"

That was my response to one of my loopies when I said she had my support for when she quits smoking :snikr:

Shopping--thank you Jesus--is nearly completed. Now that remains are presents for my neighbor's children, and I need to wrap and ship Rob, Myung and Little Evan's gifts. Oh, it's so thrilling to have a little baby again! We got Evan a little push-me Thomas the Tank Engine. It was the cutest thing and I well remember how much Dyl loved Thomas (still does.) Seems like all the gifts we got for Rob were sentimental--the "Peanuts" holiday collection, and Dyl got him a stuffed Bullwinkle, a reminder of when he stayed with them in Philly.

"A Charlie Brown Christmas" came on TV last night, and I don't know what the hell's the matter with me, but I cried at the beginning and cried at the end. Dang, I cried at the opening of Star Wars the other day!! I know it's not menopause because I'm only 34 and in good health. Maybe I'm just a blubbering mass of nostalgic progesteronic earthenoid who wishes she had her childhood back again? Dunno.

School's finished for the semester (sigh.) I dreamed I went to the Humane Society and all the kittens up for adoption were calico--in sherbet colors. Think patches of lime-green, raspberry and cantaloupe. If these are the kinds of dreams Klonopin gives a body, well, bitchen!

Happy Festivus, people! Gather round the Festivus pole, air your grievances and sing a merry tune! http://www.siberkat.com/thewavszim2/santasong.wav

Songs of my Saviour.

"And what would you like, little boy or girl?" ~ Invader ZIM, "The Most Horrible X-Mas Ever"

People are usually shocked when they learn that I am a deeply devout Christian.

Yes, I curse, listen to devil music, and have a sick and twisted personality; that aside, I think I am basically a good person--good, meaning I am not murderous, swindling, or abusive to living creature. Except fleas and ants. They can burrrrrrn!

Yes, I have been known to pray. I reaffirmed my Christianity on October 11th, 1998 when my husband and I were baptized by immersion. It was a particularly happy time because Jim had accepted Christ.

I am not one of those individuals to go about spouting off fundie Christian ethics and trying to convert the pagan princess on the corner--no, I look for the intrinsic good in people and abhor true evil. I am quite liberal, but I am singularly unique in my neck of the woods in that I worship God, am pro-choice and don't see anything wrong with drinking alcohol occasionally or swearing (minutely.) I see beauty in so many other things other than the mystery of religious life.

At this moment, I am listening to Luciano Pavarotti's rendition of "Ave Maria" and tears are streaming down my face, simply from the overwhelming beauty and melancholy of the intermingling of notes and ancient phrases. God, to me, is so much more evident in this particular genre; surely He is singing through Pavarotti as proof of His existence. I have searched for God within the confines of the Methodist church I attend, and have far more often seen Him in my children, heard Him worshiped in beautiful Latin cadences.

I also have a Jesus fish on the back of the Black Pearl.

I still become deeply sad during this joyous season. And the sadness is magnified by all the evil in this world. I try not to think about it too much. I need to see my shrink soon and get my meds upped.

Peace to you all.... Jules