Goddammit.

Aunt Glou-Glou's Asylum for Unwed Cats: Timing is everything.

Y'all remember that post? Well, here's the finale.

Dear (gag!) Walter,

It's really apparent to me that beneath your tough demeanor--you know, your ability to kill helpless animals, your penchant for tough talk (IOW, inserting "fuck" at least 20 times in any given sentence,) the fact that you're a mechanic, that you are nothing but a goddamn coward.

You are such a coward, and your jealousy is so bitter and burning within your twisted little soul that you couldn't bring yourself to come to my doorway to return something to me. Instead, you phoned me from your dreary little cabin to tell me the item was in my mailbox. Your excuse? "Well, I had my kids with me." Bullshit! You're a coward, and surprise surprise, you are turning your children into cowards as well, and you are teaching them to hate. "The history of the present [King of Self-Important UPS Mechanics] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over [this Woman and her Family.] To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world." That's from the Declaration of Independence, helpfully edited. Recall reading it in 8th grade civics? Oh wait--you've never cracked a book in your life. I digress--

* You have repeatedly humiliated me in front of your children and encouraged their blatant disrespect for me--remember the "hemi" discussion?

* You gave me genital herpes, which you got from your wife, Robin the Trollop.

*You inflicted WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE punishment upon my son that you would never dream of doing to your own child.

*YOU made me give my beloved cat up for adoption only because you were jealous of him.

*You repeatedly taunted my son because he's imaginative and artistic, claiming those are "faggot" qualities.

*You called my kids names like "Gaybee," "Turd-a," "Dilbert," --how would you like it if I called your kids Fatass, Spoiled Brat Princess, Blubber Boy?

You are a manipulative, horribly mean person, Walter Gayle Myers II. You covered it up quite nicely when you wanted to win my heart, but what you didn't know is that masks melt away quite easily when exposed to sunlight. I ignored the warning signs--the cursing, the failure to restrict what the kids did and watched, the temper tantrum you threw in front of all the kids on Christmas Day, the reluctantce you showed when seeing my parents because they saw right through your facade and you knew it!! And the worst of it is--I am just as guilty as you, because I aided and abetted you, pacified you, coddled you through your little tempests because I tried to find--desperately--something worthwhile to love about you. Basically, I only stayed with you because of two things: I was lonely and the sex was good. I gave up myself for you. I lost myself. And that's the worst things a person can do! Well, now I'm back, I'm better because I cured the sickness that had me in its grip--YOU. You are a sickness, a fever, and now the fever has broken, and here I am--in pieces, but alive and in my true spirit! The exorcism of you hurt terribly, but it restored my sight and my purpose and my SELF. If I have to be alone--and you can be sure I am not getting involved with anyone for a long time--then I am alone. I have my kids, my pets, my darling little house, my friends, and ME. I am back, and you can't destroy me EVER AGAIN!!!!

Oh, and here's a hale and hearty FUCK YOU.

P.S. All the dead animal carcasses are in my sister's freezer waiting for you. No more flaccid turkey necks in MY house!